January 11, 2018

Hi all! Ok so I signed up for Lighten Up 4 Montgomery County, and I got some motivation back!! I was the helper at the LU4MC kick off that weighed everyone in. And I saw all type of people of every shape and weight. And it was the burst of motivation I needed - seeing so many others in the same boat as I'm in. So I weighed in and got measured - I hadn't done this since December 4, so I was scared to see the numbers.

Here they are:

Weight: 260.5 lbs (3.5lbs gained from 12-4,  3.1lbs lost since beginning-9-12)

Bust: 49.5” (up 1.75” from 12-4, up .5” from beginning)

Waist: 42” (up 1.5” from 12-4, down .5” from beginning)

Abdomen: 50.25” (up .25” from 12-4, down 1.25” from beginning)

Hips: 51.5” (up .5" from 12-4, down .75” from beginning)

Arm: 16” (up .25" from 12-4, down .5” from beginning)

Thigh: 30.75” (up .75" from 12-4, down 1.75” from beginning)

​

So I was up from 12-4-17, which I expected - but I'm mostly all still down from September when I started all this! So I was overall happy. I was actually happy that I had gained inches. Why? Because that meant that what I was doing was actually helping - even if it didn't feel like it all the time, because doing nothing - wasn't good (duh!).  So here I go (again!), wish me luck!

​

January 04, 2018

Hi friends! So i took some time off from blog and dieting in general over the holidays. Because to be honest, I didn't want to worry about what I ate at family gatherings. And not weighing myself was a great feeling! But, now it's back to reality and I gotta get started once again. I'm dreading that first weigh in cause It's probably not going to be good!

I am going to participate in Lighten Up 4 Montgomery County this year. Usually, I just do the behind the scenes but this year I will be participating and hopefully getting a cut of that prize money! Here's how LU4MC will work, you pay $10 when you sign up (next week!) and if you lose 4% by mid-point weigh in, you get your $10 back. If you lose 8% by final weigh in (April 6), you get a cut of the big money pot. So people have been coming in and when I explain the rules some of them say "4%? That's all! That's not hard!" If I could enter the blank stare emoji into this blog right now, I would. 4% might be easy peesy for some people but for others, and me, every friggin' pound lost feels like hard work - not easy. 

​

I digress. Anyhow, I'll be participating in the challenge and will post weekly once more about my progress. But until Monday when it starts, I'm totally going to enjoy some chocolate milk! 

​

December 13, 2017

Down .6 lbs when I weighed in Sunday. Not much but I’ll take it!

​

So my current battle is again, with myself. This time it’s over my perception of myself. I’ve been following a Body Positivity guru on Instagram and it’s full of inspiration about loving yourself as is. It’s against the diet culture, and about just living life whatever size you are. Wearing clothes and not worrying about whether society thinks its “flattering” and not worrying about belly rolls, cellulite, stretch marks, etc.  I love this premise. So for a while before I started all this, I thought, that’s gonna be me! And in some ways, it is. I have stretch marks from my pregnancy – which was the greatest gift I’ve ever been given, so I don’t hate the fact that my stomach isn’t flawless.

I’d like to accept myself as is, but I don’t seem to be able to. Is this a weight thing or a mental thing? Part mental I think. When I was 115 in high school, I rarely wore shorts. I wanted my legs covered. I hated when I sat at my desk and my thigh “got fat.”  There’s something I’ve read that says “I wish I was the weight I was when I first thought I was fat.” Stupid high school me! I want to smack her! But that was my brain then, would it be like still if I lost weight? Or would I be more appreciative of my weight having worked so hard to lose it?

December 04, 2017

Lost 2 lbs! And today we re-measured! Here are the results:

Weight: 257 lbs (2lbs lost from last week,  6.6lbs lost since beginning)

Body Fat %: 51.5 (down 1% from last month, down 1.2% from beginning)

Bust: 47.75” (down 1” from last month, down 1.25” from beginning)

Waist: 40.5” (down .5” from last month, down 2” from beginning)

Abdomen: 50” (down .5” from last month, down 1.5” from beginning)

Hips: 51” (same from last month, down 1.25” from beginning)

Arm: 15.75” (same from last month, down .75” from beginning)

Thigh: 30” (same from last month, down 2.25” from beginning)

So that’s a total of 2” from last month and 9” from the beginning. I’ll take it!

I had a couple nice little paragraphs I typed up last week for today about Body Positivity. But I will save it for next week and let myself celebrate in this week’s success! Notice that the inches are going down, my weight, it’s fluctuating. Gain 2, lose 2, etc. It just proves that the scale isn’t the only indication of progress. And we shouldn’t obsess about it. So that’s my short and sweet little post for today! Have a fabulous week everyone! :)

November 27, 2017

I literally cried myself to sleep last night thinking about what on earth I would type for this blog today. I was beating myself up and hating myself for gaining weight and falling off the Weight Watchers wagon. And all the hurtful things anyone has ever said to me about my weight (whether they realized it was hurtful or not) all came flooding in at once and resurfaced. I gained…a lot. I’m almost back where I started. How the heck does that happen? I mean, I know how it happens, but it sucks that it can take so long to lose it and only 2 weeks to gain it all back. Ok, not all, but since my last blog entry (yes I skipped a week), I gained 3.2 lbs.

I’m sorry this post is a bummer so far. So why the “renewed energy” title of this entry? Because today at work, a member came up to me (you know who you are J ) and said she discovered my blog and loved it. That made me so happy! What made me even happier is when I told her I gained weight and was upset, she said that it was good to write about that because then people know that they aren’t alone.  This then reminded me that I’m not alone. So I gained weight! Is that really something in the whole scheme of things to be so upset about? No! Absolutely not! I have a great life, family, friends, and job! I’m healthy. A few flippin’ pounds should not get me down!

So here we go – it’s a new week, almost a new month. Let’s. Do. This.

November 13, 2017

I lost another .6 lbs this week! Not much but hey, I’ll take it! It’s in the right direction! I had no idea what I was going to write about this week. So this morning, as I brushed my teeth and got ready for work, I thought about what I needed to do better this week (this has become a Monday ritual). I started thinking about laziness. Stupid laziness. Not lazy like, couch potato lazy. Lazy like, I try to grab everything I can from one room to bring in another room so I don’t have to do two trips (i.e. the constant task of migrating books/toys back to my daughter’s room). Like going from one side of my house to the other is really going to exhaust all my energy! Or at work, it’s easy to just roll the chair a few feet to the printer than get up. Stupid! Get up, Danielle! This laziness needs to stop, but it’s a habit. And habits are hard to break.

That laziness transfers over into Weight Watchers. Even if you don’t follow the Weight Watchers program, but use another food tracking app, you might see yourself doing this too. I call it Weight Watchers arrogance.

I will have days where I track everything, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. I stay under my points, or maybe 1 or 2 over. So then I get out of the habit but I think “I got this, I know in my head how much I should/shouldn’t eat.” Arrogance. But guess what folks, I apparently don’t! And why don’t I take the time to plug in those foods? Ding ding ding LAZINESS! Stupid laziness! It literally takes a few seconds and a few taps and swipes with my finger on my phone. I do way more when I’m on facebook – but that doesn’t feel like a chore. Tracking my food does. Because, surprise surprise, the accountability and reality of my choices sometimes bums me out. So this week, and each week after hopefully, I’m going to try to not be lazy.

November 07, 2017

So I’ve been reading a book called Daring Greatly. It’s about the importance of being vulnerable and how it can affect all aspects of your life. What I’m doing right now, each week writing this blog, makes me feel very vulnerable. And what I’ve come to realize from this book so far is what I perceive as weakness and vulnerability, others see as courage.  So why are we so mean to ourselves and see something good, like bravery, as shame. Because honestly, some weeks, I dread writing this, because I’m embarrassed. Embarrassed that I let myself get so out of shape. Embarrassed that I’m not losing more. Embarrassed that I am so dependent on certain foods (i.e. soda and cheese). Embarrassed because I’m letting everyone see the real me and all my measurements and I’m hoping people won’t think less of me because of it. “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” So, each week, as I write about myself to you all, I will try to remember that what I’m doing is courageous.  And something to think about, when you are at the gym, and you see someone working out that looks like they don’t know what they are doing, don’t secretly snicker, know that they are being vulnerable and doing something out of their comfort zone and help them out. Speaking of, I had a moment last week where I just felt awful. I was trying to be good and work out after my front desk shift, so I go into the cardio room and I plan to finish the SLED workout sheet. I start with one and I feel like I’m doing it all wrong. So I ask Sandy for help, and it turns out my arms are just super weak, so it felt totally weird doing it. So I decide I hate that machine and move on. On the next machine (bicep curls), I look at the handy dandy little picture and think, easy peesy, I got this. Ummmm… no arm strength remember? It was awful and again, I felt like I just must be doing it wrong. Nope, just weak! I had Sandy walk me through the rest of the upper body machines but I couldn’t bring myself to try to do any others. I felt so defeated and my eyes burned like I was going to cry. So instead of sucking it up and just going for it, I left, defeated. And it set my mindset in a bad place where I didn’t come back to work out. I was on a roll last week, I was feeling confident, and boom, just like that, now feel stupid, weak, and vulnerable.

Anyhow – on to the numbers! This month’s measurements were interesting!

Weight: 255.4 lbs (only .6lbs lost from last week – 8.2 lost since beginning!)

Body Fat %: 52.5 (up .8% from last month, down .2% from beginning)

Bust: 48.75” (down .25”)

Waist: 41” (same!)

Abdomen: 50.5” (same!)

Hips: 51” (down 1.25”)

Arm: 15.75” (same!)

Thigh: 30” (same!)

So where I didn’t lose inches last month, I lost some this month. And where I lost last month, those stayed the same.  So I’m not too upset with this. Could it be better?  Heck yeah! But at least most of the numbers stayed the same, which is better than going up! It’s a new week, I’m going to try to work out again, and try those darn arm machines with these chubby noodles for arms I have.  Wish me luck!

October 30, 2017

I lost 2lbs this week – horray! I’m back on track! So I did some new things this week! And since they were new, I was was nervous to do it – but now that I have – I feel so much better and much more confident. So what did I do? I lifted weights! The free weight room has always been really intimidating to me, I always felt out of place in there and unsure about what to do and how to do it. So my friend Lauren asked me to lift with her last week (thanks, friend!). I was super nervous but I went because even if I hated it, at least it’d be something to write about this week, right? Well, I loved it! I felt sore after but also super pumped and proud of myself! So I went again with her, and I still enjoyed it! So Saturday, I came by myself - which is huge for me! I started reading about lifting weights and losing weight and I was pretty excited about what I found.

I read that:

Aerobic (cardio) activity burns fat while you’re exercising, but anaerobic (lifting) activity burns fat in the minutes, hours and days following exercise, as your body recovers from your workout. Compare the energy costs of the two activities during a workout session, and aerobic activity appears to burn more fat.

But if you add up the fat burned by the two activities during and after exercise — including what’s burned between sets during the workout itself — anaerobic activity comes out ahead. Way ahead.

 (here’s the link if you want to read the full article: https://experiencelife.com/article/lift-to-lose-weight/)

The other new thing I did was the SLED program we offer here at Fusion. What is the SLED program? Have you heard of it? You might not have, we don’t market it much – somebody better get on that marketing girl to do something about that (it’s me, I need to help promote it!).

Anyhow, here is what SLED is. It stands for Stronger, Leaner Every Day and is based on the Delorme’s Principle of progressive resistance to get your body to change.

So over by the desk in the cardio room you will see two bins on the wall. One says “New Workout” and one says “Completed.” Each sheet lists all the weight equipment in the cardio room (we also have machines up in the free weight room that do the same thing). You start by going to the machines and seeing what the most weight is you can do 10 reps of. You write that down on the sheet and put it in the “Completed” bin, that’s your starting point. Then our personal trainer, Chris, will get the sheet and write down the weights you should do next time. So lets say on one machine you were able to do 10 reps at 40lbs. Chris might write down 40lbs, 40lbs, 50lbs (this is purely for explanation only, I have no idea yet how much he raises it). So you try to do 10 of each. If you can only do 8 of the last set, no worries! That just tells Chris it’s challenging for you. Put your sheet in the “Completed” bin and the process starts over. I’m pretty excited about it – I like that someone will tell me, “Ok, do this now.”  It helps to have some direction and I’m not just wandering aimlessly from machine to machine. If my explanation didn’t help you understand it, stop by Fusion, it’s easier to explain with the sheet in front of you.

That’s it for this week – next week we measure again. Eeek! Hopefully it’s good results! Wish me luck avoiding Halloween candy (Crunch bars are my weakness!).

October 23, 2017

So, I’m mad. Mad at myself, mad at this body of mine, mad at food, mad at that stupid scale. I gained another 1.6lbs. UGH! Was I trying my hardest this week? No, that’s why I’m mad at myself! Am I doing better than when I wasn’t doing Weight Watchers – yeah!  My 3 sodas a day have turned into none or 1 (and that 1 is usually a frozen coke – they are 7pts – same as one of those cute small cans – but it feels like I’m getting more soda because of the slushy ice – this might sound dumb but it brings me joy J).  I used to have McDonalds 2-3 times a week.  Now it might be once every two weeks. Am I perfect? No. But are things changing toward the better? Yes!  Not good enough though.

So as you can tell, I’m feeling better down. I opened at Fusion this morning and wasn’t in the best of moods. I went in the cardio room to turn on the lights and turn on the TVs and Kelsey, who worked the night before, had changed the quote on the dry erase board in there. It said “When you feel like giving up, remember why you started.” At first, I read it and thought two things: 1) Oh I’m glad she did that last night because I forget to do it sometimes on Monday morning & 2) She wrote it really cute.

As I walked through the room, I looked at it again and actually read it and said the words in my head. I did feel like giving up. I regretted putting myself out there to you all. I wanted to go back to not caring what I ate. Then I said that quote over and over again as I walked throughout the facility. “Why did I start?” I asked myself. By the time it was time to open the doors I had a new feeling inside that wasn’t self-loathing, it was some optimism. I thought when I weighed myself today I wouldn’t even post a blog today – who is going to notice and what will people think of me if I do, that I’m a fat failure? But then all those reasons why I started gave me new life. So I sat down and typed up this blog. And I hope you don’t think I’m a failure, and I hope if you are like me and felt like quitting, that you remember the reasons why you started.

October 16, 2017

Happy Monday everyone! Who else is LOVING this fall weather? Yay! Well, I weighed in this morning and I actually gained 1.8 lbs since last week. Am I upset? No, actually! Why? Because I wasn't really trying this past week. We had family in town from California, which meant lots of eating out and big family dinners. I chose smarter choices at times, but other times, I didn't stress over the menu. I enjoyed myself and enjoyed the fun memories! I almost skipped out on some of the plans because going to a certain restaurant would be too much temptation for me, but then I mentally smacked myself! I said “Danielle, in 10 years are you going to remember those 2 lbs you lost that one week or are you going to remember that funny thing that happened with your aunts when you went to that restaurant?” And some of you might be shaking your head and saying “Well, you could have done both if you just got salads.” And that sounds like a super swell idea, but it also makes me depressed, because as we've discussed before – my eating and my emotions are connected. I'm a happier person with french fries in front of me. Is that bad? Yep, probably! And it's also the reason I am where I am now. But I'm new on this healthier journey, so for me at this point I have to avoid the restaurant so I don't get the fries – because I, unfortunately, have zero self-discipline, something I need to work on.

So, yeah, I gained. Which happens. And I'm not going to let one bad week discourage me. It's Monday, it's a new week! Going to try to make it a great one! Thanks to all who are still reading and leaving positive comments, you all make my heart so happy!

October 09, 2017

Alright friends, it’s been a month! So we measured and weighed me today! Eeek! 

Here are the results:

Weight: 254.6 lbs (1.6lbs lost from last week – 9lbs lost since beginning!)

Body Fat %: 51.7 (down 1%)

Bust: 49” (same!)

Waist: 41” (down 1.5”)

Abdomen: 50.5” (down 1”)

Hips: 52.25” (same!)

Arm: 15.75” (down 1.25”)

Thigh: 30” (down 2.5”)

Woot woot! Is it bad that I want to celebrate with a Hardees’ chocolate milkshake?

So an explanation to the title of the post – the placebo effect. We all know what this is right? It’s a positive effect from a pill that isn’t due to the actual pill itself but to the patient's belief in that treatment.  Well, my FitBit is my placebo. For my birthday I got a FitBit Alta HR – love it! I don’t know if this happens with anyone else, but when you put on your FitBit – do you feel like you have accomplished more that day than on a day you didn’t wear it? Like just wearing the thing makes you instantly more fit? Well, it does with me! So silly! But, it does give me motivation. And this is not an ad for FitBit – I mean unless somehow they see this blog and want to give me money! Anyhow, the other day, I was vegging out on the couch watching Sofia the First with my daughter Zoey and it buzzes on my wrist and says “Want to go for a stroll?” I thought, o that’s cute! Then an hour later – my butt is still on the couch being lazy and enjoying it – *buzz buzz* “Want to go for a stroll?” OMG, it knows I’m being a couch potato! I’m feeling guilty to my FitBit! Then the other day, *buzz buzz* “Feed me 109 steps.” Ummm, feed me a taco is what I wanted to say to my wrist. It was cute but a tad annoying cause I’m rushing around trying to get a diaper bag packed and the dog outside to pee before I leave. A few minutes later, *buzz buzz* “See, that was easy peesy!” Awe, yay! I loved it and was so excited it had given me a small challenge and I did it! My goal now is to get myself up every time it says one of it’s cute little messages.

Even if you don’t have a FitBit, try giving yourself little messages or challenges during the day. It feels so good just to make small changes and it feels like you’re doing way more! This getting healthier business is so mentally challenging for me that the little things seem to help. Take the stairs if you’re able to instead of the escalator, get up and do a couple laps around your house if you’re having a cozy night in – just to move.  Ok, I’m all out of “wisdom” for the day – hope everyone has a fabulous week!  

​

October 02, 2017

I lost 2.5lbs this past week! I'm super happy that the numbers on the scale are going down! I'm not known for my patience so I'm struggling a little with it being 2 lbs at a time. I know what I need to do though - add exercise! Bleh! I know, I'm a  fitness facility employee who does not like to work out! I'm telling myself that maybe I just haven't found the right workout for me. 

So on Wednesday, I took Sandy's 12pm Cardio Cycle class. I was so nervous! And I had a lot of reasons - correction, excuses (because that's all they were) to not go. "I woke up so early and I'm just so tired!" "We are going to the zoo tomorrow and I don't want to be sore!" etc. But I went - which is huge for me! It was good! I was sweating and my heart was pumping - I felt so good after! Here's a tip to all those who want to use the spin bikes, make sure your seat isn't too high... if it feels like it during the class, fix it! I stuck it out cause I felt dumb stopping to fix it and oh my goodness! My own seat (if ya know what I mean) was hurting and my feet were hurting! Why my feet? My seat was too high so my short legs weren't pedaling correctly. Now I know! Sandy was amazing though! During my "seat" struggle the cushion fell off the seat, so I was awkwardly trying to put it back on while my feet are strapped in, Sandy got off of her bike and came over to help me. Thank you, Sandy, for helping me feel less awkward!

This was the first class I had taken at Fusion since 2008! I always have that insecurity thinking about going to a class. My brain says "what if I can't keep up?" "what if I look stupid?" And while I put on a brave face writing these blogs and bearing my soul to you all, I still felt those things. But as we got going I realized, no one was looking at me and judging me (I hope!)! I felt pretty good until I got off the bike at the end and glanced in the mirror behind me. Ugh! My whole moral plummetted - "do I really look like that??" It set me in a pretty down in the dumps mood for a while - but I just had to keep reminding myself - this is why you are doing this - so you can look in the mirror and be proud and you can climb the stairs without being so freaking winded!

So I ripped off the band-aid and took a class! I think I may be brave enough to try another, any suggestions?

PS: It's my birthday today! Last night we celebrated and I still was able to enjoy my cake! (Thanks, Mom, it was delish!)

September 25, 2017

Hey friends! Me again! I weighed in this morning! I lost 2.7 lbs since last week! Which makes 4.9 lbs lost in 2 weeks - slow but steady wins the race right?

I gotta say, this week was easier - it's getting easier to choose water instead of soda too, I mean, I still want it. I had a dream the other night I was searching for a Pepsi... seriously! That's messed up! 

So now stuff's gonna get real in this post! My husband and I got married in September 2012, and by September 2013 we decided it was time for a baby! I got pregnant right away - we saw the heartbeat, I looked online for nursery furniture - and at 10 weeks I had a miscarriage. Since then, a little piece inside of me broke. If I was ever home alone for too long, I'd break down. 2 more miscarriages the following 2 years didn't help my state of mind any. I finally had my daughter Zoey March 2016, happiest day ever! She is a hoot! Such a happy and smart baby girl! Afterwards, though I had postpartum depression, which is a legit thing by the way! It sucks!! I'm better now thanks to modern medicine - but I will randomly have a bad day. Saturday was one of those days. I was bummed out and just wanted to cry - why? No idea! Stupidest thing ever!  Anyhow - at that moment, I was hungry for lunch and all I wanted was a flippin' #3 no onions, large with a coke. (If you're unsure what that is I'm not sure we can be friends... j/k) 

​

Thinking about getting that meal made me feel happy. Isn't that stupid? Thinking about microwaving a Lean Cuisine, made me want to curl up in a ball! But this is what I do and have always done, I use food to cheer me up! I was about to pop a "chill pill" but my mom gave me good advice. I took a moment to myself while Zoey was napping and just breathed and calmed down. So then I was good and enjoyed my Chicken Club Lean Cuisine (seriously yum!). This is something I deal with all the time! I associate food with feelings.  Before our first miscarriage, I weighed 199lbs. I gained a lot, fast, after the miscarriages - and I'm now realizing why. I was filling the void in my stomach with food. Told you it was getting real. 

But, guess what: after I ate that Lean Cuisine instead of McD's, I felt awesome! So proud of myself, and that feeling was better than the temporary delicious joy that McD's would have given me. 

Wish me luck with this next week - my birthday is next Monday and I really like chocolate cake...

September 18, 2017

Alright friends, I weighed in this morning on the same scale at Fusion and.........

I lost 2.2 pounds!!

​

So why the glum title of this blog? Why isn't it "woo hoo - go me!" and all positive? Well, it was a rough weekend full of the temptation of family get togethers and going out to eat. This weekend was full of self loathing and spiteful eating. What's "spiteful eating?" It's when I flub up a day by eating crummy and I'm so ticked off at myself I eat something else crummy because my brain says "Ugh Danielle, you already f'ed up today - just get the flippin soda and enjoy it!" Which as you can imagine, is not a good cycle. I get mad at myself and then punish myself by eating something else bad. I did great all last week, and then Saturday - not so much - after that I would look in the mirror and be so mad at myself and swore my face looked fatter from that one awful meal (tasted amazing though, dang it!).

​

Despite the bad days this past week, I am doing better, I'm learning, and slowly developing new habits. And I am proud that I lost weight. I'm getting into the swing of things and realizing that foods I thought "weren't that bad," are actually awful! So, funny story. As I mentioned in my last post, I am doing the Weight Watchers program. For those of you who are unfamiliar with how it works, each food is given a point value based on calories, fat, etc. and you are allowed to eat so many points a day. My daily alotted points is 48. Well, the Weight Watchers app has a nifty little feature that lets you scan the bar code of a food at the store and it tells you it's points. So, I've been craving chocolate - which is weird because usually I'd choose a bag of chips over a brownie any day. Anyhow, I'm craving chocolate and I see these things at Wal-Mart where you can make little individual brownies in a mug. So i think, "that's pretty awesome - that can't be that bad for you and it will give me my chocolate fix." So I buy them and like a dummy don't scan it. I get home and scan it when I'm having a taste for it and son of a nutcracker - one little mug of brownie is 17 pts! And of course it's going to cause a whole "if you give a mouse a cookie" affect and I will want milk with it. So unless that's a breakfast and lunch for me, not gonna happen! Stupid delicious looking mug brownie!  So yeah, lesson learned. Scan the bar codes before you leave Wal-Mart, if your toddler who wants to run around and say hi to everyone will stay put long enough for you to do so. 

​

I want to keep these posts positive, but also honest. If every week I say everything is rainbows and unicorns, that's not real. I will however end this post on a positive note - I am excited to keep going!! All your kind words have definitely helped so far! So, thank you!! Also, I've been hearing stories of this blog inspiring others to get it together and start being healthier - which is freaking awesome!! I love it! Keep it up! 

September 12, 2017

Thanks to my husband for the title of this post! What’s the reason behind it? I signed up for Weight Watchers yesterday, it was on sale ($30 for 3 months- woot woot!) and I’ve had good luck with it in the past. Well, my husband is super supportive, which is awesome! But, when it comes to me eating better – it’s gotta be all me, my decisions, good or bad. For instance, last night, I said “hey, let’s just make some chicken tacos for supper.” My husband replies “But is that ok for your Weight Watcher’s points?” So, he meant well, but if I had resigned to no chicken tacos for dinner, it would have been out of guilt, not my own good choice. If he asked “want McDonalds for dinner?” and I said “No,” then I would feel like friggin’ Wonder Woman because I made that decision. And that’s the only way it will work for me.  So when I kindly explained to him my crazy brain – his response was: “So, the first rule of Weight Watchers is not to talk about Weight Watchers?” Yep!

Anyhow, I’m somewhat stalling because I’m actually here to write this post to let you all know the results from my assessment. Everyone hates telling people their weight – and I get it. However, no matter what number I type to you right now, you will still have the same eyes that see me, in all my chubbiness. Also, from working here at Fusion, I get to help with our annual challenge, Lighten Up 4 Montgomery County. Which means I help do the weigh ins. It’s so amazing! People all hold their weight differently, and that was really good to see. Two people might weigh the same, but you wouldn’t have guessed it! What I mean is, don’t put too much stock in the number on the scale.

Ok, enough stalling. Drumroll… the results are in:

Weight: 263.6lbs

Body Fat %: 52.7

Bust: 49”

Waist: 42.5”

Abdomen: 51.5”

Hips: 52.25”

Arm: 16.5”

Thigh: 32.5”

I’ll weigh in each week and re-measure each month. Hopefully those numbers go down!

I’ll end this post by saying thank you! Everyone’s support on this has been amazing!! And those that I’ve envied who are so in shape have come forward with insecurities of their own, which makes me feel like I’m not alone with this! So thank you everyone, you guys are the best!

September 08, 2017

Let me first start this first blog with a “hello!” My name is Danielle – I work at Fusion's front desk and also do a variety of marketing and graphic designing projects. I love Fusion! Is it because I'm a “gym junky?” Nope! It's because I love the members, I love the staff, and I met my husband here, it holds a special place in my heart, as cheesy as that may sound. So, because of my love for Fusion, I'm always trying to think of new ways to market us. I like taking the personal approach – I love customer service and just being “real” with people. So my big idea was to follow someone on a fitness journey. Someone overweight, bad eating habits, a will to become healthier, blunt, and not embarrassed to put themselves out there. Oh, wait a minute, that's me! Yep, even though I still want to eat like my 18-year-old self – my metabolism says “Girl, please! You're 30 – it's not going to work like that anymore!” So, here it is, my journey to a healthier me. My hope for this blog isn't to sell you a membership or personal training packages – my hope is that you will see this, see me, and realize that you are not alone with the weight loss struggle. I've worked at Fusion for what feels like forever and I am so confident when I'm on the clock – but have me hop on a treadmill or elliptical? Yikes! All the sudden I can't pull my shirt down far enough and I even become self-conscious about drinking too much of my water – like someone is going to judge me for being thirsty after 2 minutes. As I type this, I further realize how ridiculous this is but also, that the self consciousness is common. But here's the thing – no one is judging you, no one is counting your water sips! I babble – anyhow, my hope is that by overcoming my self consciousness and I can help others overcome theirs because I'm realizing that my biggest roadblock right now, is me.

Ok, so how am I going to measure my success? I'm going to go to Sandy at Fusion, and ask for an assessment. She will weigh me and measure me, and that will be my starting point. From there I will weigh in each week and get remeasured each month. I'll post every now and then about: my non scale victories, my struggles, or how bad I will want a large cherry coke from Hardees and McDonald's french fries. So here we go, am I crazy for doing this?